Labor coaches should go to childbirth classes with the mother-to-be before her due date. These classes will help you learn how to comfort and support her when the big day arrives.

Get to know the hospital. Take a tour of the hospital prior to the birth. A tour may be part of the childbirth classes. Talk with the staff on the labor and delivery unit to get an idea of what will happen on the big day.

Know what the mom expects. You and the mother should talk ahead of time about what should happen on the day of delivery.

• Does the mother-to-be want to use breathing techniques?
• Does she want you to be hands-on?
• How can you help soothe her pain?
• How involved does she want the midwife to be?
• When does she want to get pain medicine?

Natural childbirth is very hard work. A woman may decide on natural childbirth at first, but find that the pain is too much to bear when she is in labor. Talk with her ahead of time about how she wants you to respond at this point.

Write down a plan. A written plan for the labor and delivery will help make things clear ahead of time. Of course, when the contractions are in high gear, many of those decisions may change. This is OK. Give her your full support around how she wants to get through her labor and delivery.

You might be at the hospital for many hours. So remember to bring things to the hospital for yourself, such as:

• Snacks
• Books or magazines
• Your music player and headphones or small speakers
• A change of clothes
• Toiletries
• Comfortable walking shoes
• Pillows

It may take a long time for the baby to be born. Be prepared to wait. Labor and delivery can be a long process. Be patient.

When you are at the hospital:

• Be an advocate. There may be times when the mother needs something from the health care providers or nurses. She may need for you to speak up for her.
• Make decisions. At times you will have to make decisions for the mother. For example, if she is in severe pain and can't speak for herself, you may decide it is time to find a nurse or provider who can help.
• Encourage the mother. Labor is hard work. You can cheer her on and let her know that she is doing a good job.
• Ease her discomfort. You can massage the mother's lower back or help her take warm showers to ease the pains of childbirth.
• Help her find a distraction. As labor gets more painful, it will help to have a distraction, or something that will take her mind off of what is happening. Some people bring items from home, like a photo or a teddy bear that the mother can focus on. Others find something in the hospital room, like a spot on the wall or on the ceiling.
• Be flexible. The mother will get so focused during the contractions that she may not want or need you at all. She may ignore you or may get angry at you or others in the room. Don't take anything said during labor personally. It will all be a blur after the baby is born.
• Remember, just having you there will mean so much to the mother. Having a child is a very emotional journey. You are being helpful by just being there every step of the way.

Pregnancy - labor coach; Delivery - labor coach

Kilpatrick S, Garrison E, Fairbrother E. Normal labor and delivery. In: Landon MB, Galan HL, Jauniaux ERM, et al, eds. Gabbe's Obstetrics: Normal and Problem Pregnancies. 8th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2021:chap 11.

Thorp JM, Grantz KL. Clinical aspects of normal and abnormal labor. In: Lockwood CJ, Copel JA, Dugoff L, et al, eds, Creasy and Resnik's Maternal-Fetal Medicine: Principles and Practice. 9th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2023:chap 40.

Updated by: John D. Jacobson, MD, Professor Emeritus, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Loma Linda University School of Medicine, Loma Linda, CA. Also reviewed by David C. Dugdale, MD, Medical Director, Brenda Conaway, Editorial Director, and the A.D.A.M. Editorial team.